Graduation Speech -- Graduation Speech, Commencement Address

Well, this is it. These are the only seniors who were able to survive the culminating exhibition. If I had known that there would be this many open seats, I would have invited my third cousins from Norway. You know, it's funny. As I look around at the familiar faces in the student section, I am reminded about something. Our class, particularly the girls, have been very fashion-conscious over the last four years. Some even seem to be in competition with one another. Well girls, here we are on the most important day of your high school careers, and you're all wearing the same thing. The guys, on the other hand, could care less. I know for a fact that a couple of you aren't wearing anything underneath your tailored tarps. For those who know me, it's common knowledge that I don't shy away ...